We like to believe we’re in full control of our lives.
Planning carefully, eating well, avoiding danger, and thinking ahead gives us a sense of safety. Control provides comfort; it creates the illusion that nothing unexpected can harm us.
But life is unpredictable, and for some people, that lack of control can feel unbearable.
OCD, anxiety, and phobias
At its core, OCD, anxiety, and phobias reflect an intensified need for certainty and a struggle to maintain control in a world that doesn’t always allow it.
Take the fear of swallowing. Swallowing is automatic, it happens without effort. Yet once anxiety attaches, the mind tries to interfere. It monitors, manages. It attempts to consciously control something that was never meant to be controlled.
The same happens in sensorimotor OCD. Breathing, blinking, and swallowing, natural processes, become hyper-focused, and we try to manually control them. The fear is always the same: What if I lose control?
People with OCD, anxiety, and phobias are not simply afraid.
They are trying to prevent catastrophe in the only way that feels possible: by trying to control everything. But the more we try to control, the more distressed we become.
Intrusive thoughts follow the same pattern.
They arrive suddenly and feel threatening, often presenting the worst-case scenario. The mind immediately reacts, trying to analyse, neutralise, or push them away, hoping to regain control.
We can be certain about one thing, though: intrusive thoughts do not define who we truly are or what we believe. We can face them, acknowledge them, and know that they don’t reflect our character or intentions. In this way, we do have control, over how we interpret them and what we choose to believe.
The real struggle is life itself
Trying to control things that are beyond our reach. The more we cling to control, the more anxious and distressed we become. Letting go, and accepting that we cannot manage everything, is what allows us to find peace.
There’s a quiet belief underneath it:
If I stay in control, nothing bad will happen.
The paradox is painful
The more we try to force control and certainty, the more anxious we become. Perhaps OCD, anxiety, and phobias are not really about danger at all. Perhaps they are about our struggle to surrender the need for control.
Humans crave certainty, and OCD, anxiety, and phobias arise when that craving becomes urgent. Ultimately, these conditions are all about control, and real peace comes only when we let go, because facing the limits of our control may, ironically, be the key to calm.
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